Sure thing! Here’s another version of the speech with a reminiscence from Biden of his observations, when serving as a pool lifeguard, of the effects of such gender bender phthalates, in addition to the “Look!” and “Not a joke!” mixed in at random points:
"Look, folks, it’s me, Joe Biden. Not a joke! You know, I’ve seen a lot of things in my time. I was a lifeguard, you know. And let me tell you, I saw some crazy stuff. Not a joke! Kids swimming around, splashing each other, having a good time. And all the while, these phthalates, or whatever they’re called, were lurking in the water. Look, nobody knew what they were back then. But I could see the effects. Not a joke! Kids were getting all messed up. Their hormones were all out of whack. And it was all because of these chemicals. Look, it was a different time back then. We didn’t know any better. But now we do. And we gotta do something about it.
"So today, I’m announcing that we’re gonna ban these things. Look, because we gotta protect our health. That’s just common sense. And I know some folks out there are gonna say, ‘oh, but what about freedom?’ Freedom my foot! Not a joke! We gotta do what’s right, even if it’s not the easy thing. And let me tell you, banning phthalates is not gonna be easy. But we’re gonna do it. Because, you know, that’s what we do.
"And, you know, I gotta say, I’m tired of all this nonsense. Look, we gotta get back to basics. We gotta start taking care of each other. And that means taking care of our health. And if that means banning some chemicals, well then, that’s what we gotta do. Not a joke! Because, you know, we’re Americans. We do what’s right. And banning phthalates is the right thing to do.
“So, in conclusion, let me just say this: phthalates, you’re on notice. Not a joke! Look, we’re coming for you. And we’re gonna ban you. Because that’s what we do. We take care of each other. We protect our health. And we don’t let nobody mess with us. So, you know, let’s do this thing! Thank you, and God bless America!”