My Latest Tech Meltdown

Today’s failure of what should be ordinary function actually began yesterday. My wife and I started watching a movie on Hulu. We rely on closed captions and they are set to “on” and “English” as default. Nonetheless, the captions came on in Spanish. They have been doing this off & on for a few months now, but have been fixable. Not yesterday. Remarkably, Spanish isn’t even an option on the CC menu!

I tried everything on both the Hulu and the Samsung TV menus. No joy. I then spent about 20 minutes on live chat with a Hulu agent. I finally told her that I surrender and don’t want to even try any more. BYW, because of its lousy service, I had ditched Hulu live ($119/mo) for Hulu ad free ($39 mo with Max included) about 8 months ago and recently re-subscribed at my wife’s behest (TV is our main source of entertainment, as her illness prevents us from going out much). I stopped watching the movie with Spanish CC. She continued with CC off. When she was done, I deleted the Hulu app, as suggested both online and by the chat agent, planning to re-install it the next day - today.

Then the fun really began! My Samsung OLED TV is high-end & has a fabulous picture. Trouble is, there used to be an icon on the Home Screen which allowed addition of apps, since the TV is supposed to load apps so I no longer needed to use Roku to use them. With the latest software updates, though, that icon has disappeared and I could find no way to add apps to the home screen. So, I could not add Hulu back in!

Online searching was to no avail, since my screen somehow never had the options listed on any of the sites I tried. In desperation, I deleted all the prior information with a reset of the TV. Now, finally, I could add SOME of the apps which previously appeared in my home screen. Some were not offered - until I found some counter-intuitive “groups” of apps found with difficulty. Under “videos” I finally found MAX and The Criterion Channel. About 4 hours had elapsed and I had reached my wits’ end. But…

I now had to re-enter my credentials for every one of our re-installed apps. Not easy either, since - who remembers usernames or passwords for TV apps? Not me. So, there’s mechanisms which enable you to do it on the computer instead. Not easy, either! That’s because, for example, to log into MAX, I must first long into Hulu - through which I get MAX. But, my ProtonPass password manages has 7 different sets of credentials for every one of the TV apps! Choosing the correct set from those duly saved from 10 years or so - is trial & error.

Anyway, another two hours died this afternoon doing that. Granted, this is somewhat worse than my typical day. The point is that hardly a day goes by anymore when something like - closed caption suddenly changing to Spanish on its own with no possible fix - doesn’t happen at least once.

I am exasperated at least once, just about every day. I’m thinking that this is a symptom of an entire technologically “advanced” society circling the drain. I’m at minimum dizzy from the Coriolis effect. Actually, I’m so sick of it that - if it were me alone - I would cancel every shitty service for which I pay too much for what I receive. That, too, is sickening.

Dear God, please relieve me of any further technological “progress”. Come to think of it, please include social/political “progress” in that request. Over my 80 years, I’ve wondered what bodily malfunction would kill me. I now think it will be a head explosion, so I’m gonna wrap my tinfoil scalp cover in duct tape as the most cost-effective means of life-extension.

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Let me commiserate, as a person who is disappointed with the direction of our technical evolution, especially as it affects software. It seems that most times a piece of software is “upgraded”, it becomes less useful. And there is no evidence that the manufacturers of the software care – or even that the individuals who do the “upgrade” ever actually use the product themselves.

Oh well! It is an opportunity for some other business to step in and do it right. Where are you now, VisiCalc?

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I wouldn’t complain quite so vehemently, except for the fact these problems have literally become at least once daily events. Many of them are not easy to solve. I wasted an entire afternoon on the Spanish CC’s and its fallout. I suspect my pulse and BP are not so healthy when I’m literally screaming in utter frustration.

I’m not technical enough to know whether this is due simply to defects in software code, whether it has too many different devices and situations to accommodate or whether (like modern aviation accidents) we’ve reached the limits of safety management and are just subject to random, unforeseeable failures. Or something I know absolutely nothing about?

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It would be amazing if you could simply give a command to an AI app to fix the subtitles on your Samsung TV or Hulu app. Meanwhile, you could make a sandwich while the AI takes care of everything for you.

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I have long taken the position that all software should have a “bad dog” button. It would be fairly simple for the software to keep a running log of actions it has taken so that when you hit the “bad dog” button it can promptly bring up a list of recent actions and let you select the one that needs to be corrected.

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I’ve had a similar idea but more dopamine inducing:

A shocker button that’s always present*.

You want feedback and you don’t want to diffuse the reward signal to the user for providing feedback by harassing them with further questions before they can get on with what they were doing. But I agree it is a delicate balance.

* Come to think of it there may be a business model here.

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That is a nice idea! But we know what would happen in the real world – the CEO would not wear the shock collar; she would delegate that responsibility to some little guy in the mail room.

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Be careful what you wish for.

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