Reflections on Roadkill (Part 2, short)

SCANALYZER Context
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Well, it is possible something I did was selfish. So, I must allow for the possibility they’re right. I can ask for the evidence. They may describe an example of a time I acted selfishly. I may accept this or may wish to explain my actions. As well, I must weigh whether or not this was typical or exceptional of me. I may need to allow for the possibility selfishness is, indeed, one of my character defects. If I think it is, I must further decide to what extent this makes me a less-than-worthy person - if it is that serious and/or frequent. In short, I may need to amend my self image based on this feedback.

There’s a technique for assessing negative feedback like this. To the extent I feel the need to convince the person offering it that they’re WRONG about me - to that extent I need to let in the possibility they may be correct. If I’m defensive, in other words, I must consider it possible. If I become angry in response to some feedback - there’s a very good chance they’re correct!

Now, let’s go back to this new demand for public demonstrations of approval for certain behaviors. As I see it, this betrays an extreme insecurity about the self image of the person or group demanding the approval. The converse of the above technique is - to the extent I’m comfortable in my own skin, I don’t need to demand the explicit approval or acceptance of anyone else for any of my behaviors. Only to the extent I’m diffident, do I require public affirmation of some aspect of my self or my behavior. The danger here is interpersonal manipulation - which is never part of a healthy interaction. Further, when I successfully force someone to act the way I demand, there can never be enough of it; their action - because I know it is not voluntary - lacks the power to give me the very affirmation I’m craving in the first place. It only has that power if I am given that approval of their own accord - freely and voluntarily - as a gift. At some level, I know that if I have manipulated a response to me I wind up feeling empty or worse. It’s like craving heroin - there’s never enough.

When it comes to recent, novel political demands in the context of sexuality, the political aspect has completely taken over the interpersonal; it has become a kind of Kabuki theatre, on demand. Creating political pressure for an act to occur automatically removes from it any possible salutary or affirmative power. If I show up with my child at a drag show on pain of ostracism or some fear my child will be penalized, can any affirmation of anyone possibly come out of it? Even worse, can any positive feedback occur if I have had to abandon myself or my values in order to offer it? I think not.

*Jacobin. I use this term with the perspective whereby various historical revolutionary groups tended to eventually consume their slightly-less-rabid numbers, rather like the ouroboros, the snake which consumes its own tail. History of revolution, then, teaches a cautionary tale running squarely counter to insufficient demonstrations of ideological purity or tactical ruthlessness. In revolutionary politics, among the first casualties have often been members of the successful cadre who were deemed to be insufficiently vehement or violent in favor of the revolution; hardly a prescription for moderation or compromise. A tally of affiliations of the heads on spikes outside the Bastille in 1789 confirms this assertion.

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Thank you, CW. Lots of food for thought here.

Commiserations on the loss of your friend. It would be interesting to learn from him how he came to adopt Wokeness late in life. Was it too much media? Malevolent influence of other friends or family? Incipient mental decline? But I guess one would never be able to learn about the reasons for his change – he may not even know himself!

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When I read your first paragraph I thought of all the times I’ve read that we “Baby Boomers” are the most ‘selfish” generation EVAH! I have no idea what they mean. My contemporaries worked their assets off! Just in my profession, we were the associates who were expected to bill over 40 hrs/week and for whom it was de rigeur to spend at LEAST Saturday mornings at the office.
Oh I agree we were lucky, born into post WWII prosperity and at a time when the whole world, albeit grudgingly, acknowledged our country’s power and general cultural superiority. But how is that our fault? We didn’t choose when to be born. So we “lived the dream”, our parents’ dream for us. Why not?

I reckon every generation becomes the object of ridicule and disdain as the indignities of old age manifest themselves. Some old people try to become mascots for the young, like Bernie Sanders. But most of us just sit around taking the elder abuse on the chin, hoping that surely, it won’t happen again.

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I don’t think this is proof of not being selfish. Maybe it proves they work hard and are responsible and have earned. It actually could be a sign of greed as in a selfish desire for more.

I don’t have any idea if the boomers are more selfish or more greedy than any other generation. My life experience is that people that call other people selfish or greedy are often the people that are selfish, greedy or covetous.

The problem with the strict definition of greed is that nearly everyone can be called greedy. It doesn’t take much to meet basic necessities and if the world tried to live with only basic necessities, there would be a lot of starvation and a much lower population.

Maybe it is due to social media or maybe it was my limited experience, but I don’t recall anyone I have ever known ridiculing their parents or grandparents generation. At worst someone might joke about old people, but that was because they were old not about their entire existence.

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