New White House Press Secretary Tackles the Difficult Questions

In a U.S. administration headed by a mean-spirited Ficus benjamina plant, it often falls to the White House press secretary to untangle the word salad decoded from the random leaves that fall whenever the chief executive attempts to communicate.

Karine Jean-Pierre, a survivor of having served as vice president Bad LPC’s chief of staff during the 2020 campaign, who just took over the press room podium from Jen “black roots” Psaki on 2022-05-13, was faced with one of those stumpers when Fox News correspondent Peter Doocy asked about a tweet from Ficus on 2022-05-13:

asking, “The president’s Twitter account posted the other day if you wanna bring down inflation, let’s make sure the wealthiest corporations pay their fair share. How does raising taxes on corporations reduce inflation?”

Behold what happened next, as Jean-Pierre responded by reading apparently random, you know, focus grouped, you know, catch phrases from, you know, her briefing, you know, book.

I guess if you look too competent up there, it might make the boss look bad, you know?

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Well, there’s one Fox News correspondent who can expect an early morning break-down-the-door and shoot-the-dog call from a heavily armed FBI SWAT team checking into an old report about a suspected jaywalking event from his long-ago student days.

The lady has a rather pleasant speaking voice. And since it would be unbearably racist, sexist, anti-LBQWERTY, and who knows what else to raise any criticisms, we are simply going to have to let this one slide.

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We’re already letting the whole darn nation slide - ?when does all this sliding stop - and how.

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This demonstrates the dire need for a Homeland Security Bureau of Non-information.

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